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Monday, January 9, 2017

Loving and Patient? Who, Me?

BRRRR!!!  The thermometer reads 39 degrees right now, but it feels like about 10 degrees.  The air is moist and rain is predicted.  This house is drafty.  The windows don't fit quite right lately.  I wonder if all the earthquakes we've had made the house settle?  Or is it just old houses settling like they normally do?  Either way, it is very inconvenient.

It's just me and the two dogs tonight.  Dennis rode with Becky to a ballgame our granddaughter is playing in.  We had talked about going out for supper, but Karsyn comes first.  I had bedding in the washing machine, and I've been fighting off a cold, so I'm remaking the bed, then I'll climb in and enjoy a good book.  I don't get a chance to do that very often.  Supper consisted of a cheese sandwich, peaches, a cup of yogurt (key lime pie flavor) and lemon pudding.  Quite a variety of flavors, but it was satisfying.

Sometimes I just enjoy being alone for a little while. I can always find something to do. I do enjoy having Dennis around since he retired.  Last night he made supper and this morning he fixed breakfast while I was in the shower.  He takes me out for meals and shopping several times a week.  He spoils me rotten.  

Yesterday, I was watching a video on Facebook.  I wanted to share it with Dennis.  He was watching a rerun of one of his favorite tv shows. I turned the volume up a little and turned the screen around so he could see it.  He reminded me that I need to use my earphones with the computer.  He wasn't interested in watching the video.  I confess I was a little peevish about it.  I didn't say anything, but I did glare at him, then put my earphones back on.   A while later, he asked me what he did to make me mad.  I told him that maybe I should get him some earphones  for the tv, so I wouldn't have to hear it.  He replied "but you are using the computer."  He missed the whole point.  Oh well!

We get along very well.  Sometimes I get irritated when I have to pick up after him, or if he criticizes my cooking, which doesn't happen very often at all. Sometimes I get frustrated because I have different ideas about how to spend our money, what little we have.  But I try to stifle the urge to be nagging and critical of him.  Why?

Because I don't know how long I'll have him around, and I don't want to spend the time we have left fighting.  His cancer is in remission so far.  But the cells are still there. His cardiac doctors say his heart is in good shape since  he had his bypasses.   The diabetes is a constant struggle for him, and he gets so frustrated because even when he eats very little at all, his sugars stay out of the normal range.  He is terrified that the surgeons will have to start amputating limbs.  He has enough on his plate.

So, I will continue to love him, and try to keep him happy as I can. No one is more generous than Dennis Barnes.  He is a soft touch for sick and abused children, and animals.  We give to several charities on a monthly basis.  We support veterans' organizations, children's hospitals, and other charities, as well as the Church.  We'll never have much money, but we can sleep at night.

Love is not unkind. It is never selfish. It serves to protect, not imprison. Let me be perfect in my love. Amen.

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